*Syllables that echo from my Journal’s Bosom* (1/1)
Date: 25.05.2022
By the window of an airplane
Self Deprecation Coping Mechanisms…
I no more regret holding humans close to my heart, right from the moment I converse with them.
I embrace them as newborns, who deserve their fair chances in my life.
I treat them as fresh slates, try to understand where they come from, and empathize with their wounds.
Sometimes I do this passively, and at times through active immersion.
I offer them my love, care and support; bare my heart out, and refrain from mixing a tinge of ill-will in my emotions.
This is my way of welcoming a newborn…
It mostly gets messed up, when their layers uncoil.
Why don’t they reciprocate with the same level of purity?
They impose their biases and act from their prejudices.
Their wounds now appear to be self-inflicted; their misery nothing but conscious bloodbath.
They might have their reasons, all always do. I am not blaming them either.
But, I regret not being able to accept this aftermath and observe distance.
I induce pain in my heart.
My emotional equilibrium is disturbed by this vendetta.
Didn’t I let them in, in the first place?
I seem to have bared the nakedness of a newborn.
I presented myself as a clean slate, open to be painted with the words of their conditioning.
I should let go of this pain then, it’s hypothetical.
<A midwife doesn’t grieve of blood on her hands while welcoming a newborn. She is fairly distant.
She’s only offering that service with good intention.>
I should dissect this pain, observe it disappear.
This is my striving.
It prepares me for another newborn in this cyclicity…
